Tag Archives: Christmas gift

Re-Inventing Christmas

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This year, December ushered in a dim and bewildering Christmas season for me. My family members all had important new personal plans that barred me from celebrating Christmas day with any of them. No family at Christmas. They’d been there through life with me so often, so supportive.  But this Christmas I wavered, forsaken. For the first time in my 70 years, I had not even been invited. Of course, I sincerely understand and accept that my west coast sister and her husband have every right to take a well-earned trip and my gulf coast brother and his wife needed to be present at the birth of their first grandchild. Of course. They have their needs too. It’s not all about me. Absolutely.

But, being a never-married single woman, having no family within 2000 miles, I was suddenly orphaned in the frigid, snowy Midwest. I felt trashed. The  message rang out like a perverse Christmas carol: “You’re on your own again…fa la la.  You’re independent…la la la. You’ll figure it out…ho ho ho.”

As I sat in church waiting for the early December Advent service to begin, I realized that this had become a Confusing Christmas. There was a big gaping chasm in my life that used to be experienced as Christmas with Family. Disoriented, I had been left wondering how to re-invent my own Christmas celebration at home.  I especially did not want to be left out–isolated and feeling forlorn on Christmas day. That would have been awful.

So, with the coaching of good friends, I decided to re-invent the Christmas celebration I had always known. Looking back, we came up with a three-step process that I want to share with you in case you ever need to re-do your Christmas celebration. Here it is:

  1. Be proactive. Tell everyone you know and like about your new Christmas quandary.

  2. Immediately make plans to actively celebrate in old and new ways that include spreading the Christmas spirit by giving to others.

  3. Wait and watch for a few Christmas miracles to happen.

Here’s how a new Christmas unfolded for me…

Step 1:

I began letting all my friends know that I would be in town for Christmas and that I’d love to get together. Many of them shared with me the joys and benefits of being surrounded by their large families of choice–close friends who are there to function as family when needed. They are the dear friends we choose to be members of our inner circle. My close friends and I all agree that “it takes a village” to support and love us in this life; and my buddies reached out. They turned themselves into my first ever, living “Christmas village!”

Step 2

Christmas plans emerged. I wrote and sent more Christmas cards than I ever had in the past. We made flower arrangements for 22 friends and, donned with Santa hats, delivered them all over town. We attended Christmas concerts, a dinner, 2 luncheons.

We also baked dozens of Christmas cookies and secretly left 4 dozen of them out for the young construction workers who, from dawn to dusk, were re-roofing our snow-laden high-peaked building in freezing December temperatures. They found the baked delights on the open tailgate of their pickup truck with a Christmas card thanking them for their hard work.

My friends and I shared lots of stop-by visits at my place to exchange gifts, converse over dinner and catch up. What a joy! While visiting, several of my “Christmas companions” confided that by necessity, they, too, were in the process of re-inventing their personal holiday celebration.

Sarah came over one day with gifts. We ordered pizza and watched Christmas in Connecticut. During the afternoon she confided that she too is struggling with how to re-invent her Christmas traditions. Her kids were gone for the first time this year. She is officially an empty-nester. As she begins to redesign her future Christmases, she has decided to minister to people around her who are the most downtrodden and marginalized in our society–the homeless, mentally lost, and ill. She has a special heart for people with serious disabilities.

Another super-close friend, Lily, came overnight for a gift exchange, dinner, and a movie. We watched It’s a Wonderful Life. She has confided that she and her husband had suffered and struggled with the thought of having no big bustling family celebration at their home on Christmas day, with lots of food, chatter, and gift-giving. Their kids announced that they would be over to celebrate on December 23rd, not the 25th. They both felt discounted by thoughtless adult children who made plans without their input. Now, how could Christmas day be anything but bleak? But wait! On Christmas morning she wrote, “Merry CHRISTmas! What a beautiful morning with the new snowfall. Relaxing, quiet day. So nice to be done with everything and just enjoy the day. Wow! Another new experience! Another new experience for both of us. And isn’t life just full of them? Blessings to fill up the holes/spaces where something else has left our lives, and literally made room for new and wonderful experiences to wander in. Another grace-filled gift… Now how is that for a fun and comforting way to look at those future changes–challenges that we know will come?”

Step 3

During the course of planning for a new Christmas celebration away from family, several friends apologized that they would have me over on Christmas day, but they couldn’t. There would be no way to get me into their homes since I use a wheelchair full time and they have many steps. I knew ahead of time that that would be true with so many. Limited options. Barriers. Barriers to friendship. Barriers to fellowship. Barriers to sharing Christmas together. I would be left out. No room at their Inns, I guess.

But then! A completely unexpected Christmas miracle happened! A fellow, who is my handyman, stopped by one early morning to bring us some baking supplies. As he sipped a cup of Christmas coffee we had gratefully offered him, he cheerfully invited me and a friend over to share Christmas Day dinner with him and his significant other. Totally unexpected since we had never done anything so social before, I was thrilled! No dark, cold, lonely Christmas Day without family? Wow! What a Christmas surprise!

His face suddenly changed from smiley to somber as he began mulling over some new thought. Hesitating, he confessed that he wasn’t sure I could get into his house because he only had stairs at his front door.

Oh no! Shut out again in spite of good intentions. Heavy sigh. What a burden.

He left that morning wondering. Should he have extended the invitation at all?

A few long days passed. Then he sent me a text. When I opened it, I realized that I had just received the best Christmas card anyone could have possibly sent…

 

 

 

He had built a ramp!

I was still welcome and wanted! 

That was all I ever needed to know.

And oh, we had a wonderful Christmas day together…turkey with all the trimmings, a 9-foot Douglas Fir tree sparkling with colorful ornaments, Christmas carols softly wafting through the rooms, candles glowing, Christmas stories read aloud to each other, gifts exchanged, a rollicking game of Christmas trivia. Seen through huge picture windows, a lacy panorama of fresh white snow on woodland branches provided the perfect backdrop for such a gathering of peaceful hearts brimming with good cheer.

What a wonderful Christmas Re-Invented!

And, as I look back, out of  this Christmas re-invented came a new invention. It’s that process for navigating unexpected change and loss in life which offers help and a hope for renewed happiness.  All I need to do is remember it.

“God bless us, everyone!”

 

Thanks for reading

and Happy New Year to You and Yours,

Sunny

 

From Personal Experience: Give a Holiday Gift That Really Helps

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“Hmmmm…What’s a better gift for my buddies who are living with polio?”

Uh, oh. There are only a few shopping days left until Christmas. Are you a stumped shopper this holiday season?  Do you have no idea what to give that dear friend?

Well, I might have an idea or two for you. As a person with a post-polio disability, I have received many thoughtful gifts from friends and family over the years. They are presents that have helped me be healthier, more functional and better connected to the world around me.

If you have no idea what to get that favorite person this holiday season, there’s still time!  Maybe I can help.

Here are 7 gifts that I have appreciated receiving. Maybe your friend or loved one would benefit from having one too.

415y8r1IK8L._SX42rival1. Crock-Pot

Many years ago, when I first set up housekeeping as a 20-something single woman with a demanding teaching career, my good friend, Rosalie, bought me a crock-pot. Looking back, that was one of the best all-time gifts I ever received. I could put my dinner in to cook before I left for work in the morning and when I got home after a busy day–wa! la!–a tasty one-pot supper was ready for me to enjoy. And the whole house smelled wonderful as savory dinner aromas wafted upon entry. I used to joke that maybe it was the work of an altruistic “crackpot” cook who broke in and did it all when I was away.  Anyhow,  a crock-pot can make cooking so easy for someone with limited time and physical energy. Because my hands don’t chop vegetables as well as they used to, I now ask my grocer to cut up the fresh vegetables I purchase, which he is happy to do at no extra charge. Then I am ready to crock-pot it all up!  By now, crock-pots are common household items, but these days they come in all shapes and sizes. The shops even sell cute little ones to serve up warm cheese dips for holiday entertaining. Crock-pots are about half the price they started out at 40 years ago, too.

Check out:    Crock-Pot SCR400-B 4-Quart Manual Slow Cooker, Black

  2. George Foreman Grill

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This little table-top grill was another great gift!  It has also been around for many years. I especially like it in the summer when the aroma of steaks grilling is in the air and I want to create a summertime barbecue that is manageable. Besides a nice steak, hamburgers and veggies are also easy and quick! I can grill without having to go outside, pull out the giant cooker, feverishly scrape the grate, and be sure not to get blown up when I light the gas. I am happy Gerorge Foreman came up with his idea.

Maybe your friend would like a red one: George Foreman Champ Grill, Red

 

 3. Philips Sonicare Rechargeable Electric Toothbrush

 

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This was a very smart gift that my sister, Holly, and brother-in-law, Kris,  gave me a couple years ago. They had just been to their dentist and were passing along the recommendation for keeping our aging teeth healthy and happy. It is an excellent appliance. It brushes like no other, it is easy to use for those of us who have limited hand function. Plus, it is great to travel with. It has its own travel case and holds a charge for at least 2 weeks. But what really sold me on it were the cheerful comments my dentist made when I went in for my semi-annual check up. He said that my teeth had really been cleaned up well and there were no dental issues to report. All I had done was use my new toothbrush. It is definitely worth the small investment. This gift will keep everyone smiling. Ho! Ho! Ho!

Here it is: Philips Sonicare HX6731/02 Healthywhite Rechargeable Electric Toothbrush

 4e0370d343671dd427c0373fab1d6afa massage4. Massage

The gift of an in-home massage is also wonderful. When I was going through a life-altering crisis 11 years ago, a colleague at work said, “I want to help. I am going to buy you a massage.” She gave me a gift certificate to a local massage center. It was such a thoughtful present! I loved it more than I ever thought I would and started the practice of getting a massage whenever possible.  A good massage is great for sore muscles, poor circulation, and stress, which polio survivors experience so much of the time. In fact, right after a massage is my most pain-free time. I was able to find a therapist who could come to my home for an extra $15.00 which made all the difference because changing clothes, taking braces on and off several times can be a real hassle. It’s much more do-able at home. They have portable tables. Contact your local massage center or the American Massage Therapy Association  to buy a gift certificate. You might even see if they have a therapist who is trained in massage for seniors. Some are.

 5. E-Reader

feature-accessories._V325436015_kA couple of years ago my sister and brother-in-law gave me a NOOK for Christmas. It’s an e-reader.

“An e-reader, also called an e-book reader or e-book device, is a mobile electronic device that is designed primarily for the purpose of reading digital e-books and periodicals. Any device that can display text on a screen may act as an e-book reader, but specialized e-book reader designs may optimize portability, readability (especially in sunlight), and battery life for this purpose. A single e-book reader is capable of holding the digital equivalent of hundreds of printed texts with no added bulk or measurable mass.”

This device is so handy–quite portable around the house and on trips, and I can buy a new book instantly. No trip to the bookstore needed. I especially appreciate the kind of e-reader that has a lit screen for reading outdoors or at night in the dark. Sure, good old paper books are a source of tactile comfort and feel like the real deal. But having a choice of reading instruments is a new pleasure because it’s such a convenience. This device makes life a little easier. The most popular e-readers are NOOKS and KINDLES.

To check out the NOOKS, go to: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/u/nook/379003208  

Search for a Kindle on Amazon at: Kindle Voyage, 6″ High-Resolution Display (300 ppi) with Adaptive Built-in Light, PagePress Sensors, Wi-Fi

 images sm6. Smartphone

“A smartphone is a mobile phone with an operating system. Smartphones typically include the features of a phone with those of another popular consumer device, such as a personal digital assistant, a digital camera, a media player, and/or a GPS navigation unit. Later smartphones include all of those plus the features of a touchscreencomputer, including web browsing, Wi-Fi, 3rd-party apps, motion sensor, mobile payment and 3G.”

Just received an iPhone as a gift from “The Merry Meyers,” my long-time ever-loving “extended family.” A few weeks ago, we added me to their “friends and family phone plan.” For the same $40.00/month as my dorky cell phone, I suddenly not only feel more hip-trendy-cool; I am now super-connected at home and when I’m on the go! I am the proud owner of a smartphone. Somebody told me once, “If you want to stay in touch with the kids in your life, you have to text. They respond immediately. They text at lightening speed. Much faster than returning our phone calls.” Texting is much easier on a smartphone.

Oh my gosh!  With my iPhone  I’m suddenly part of that high-energy worldwide subculture that is willing and able to connect anywhere immediately. It’s different and it’s better. Of course it will never take the place of real life, in-person touching, talking get-togethers, but it does come in second. Now I can access the internet, including email, anywhere I go; and can make a phone call on the spot. I can take photos and send them to friends and so much more that I’m still discovering.

Once again, I had no idea I’d love this newfangled convenience so much, but it opens up fresh avenues of connectivity for me. As my friend said, “fighting and criticizing the flourishing new world of electronics is foolish. It won’t stop the change and the progress. Everybody’s on the moving train. So let’s jump on and enjoy the ride with all our friends.”

Look for smartphones all over–at your Apple store, or at Best Buy or on Amazon:Smartphones

Well, those are a few gifts that have helped me through life. But they would all be worthless without the most important one…

7. YOU

all-i-want-for-christmas-mirror-960x1280 mWe all know that the very best presents you could possibly give your friend at this time of year is your physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual presence.

That’s YOU–up-close and personal.

Give Generously!


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Do you have any ideas for great gifts that others may enjoy receiving next week?

Please share them here, quickly.  Before Santa flies.

Ho! Ho! Ho!